m4rl3n3's Xanga

Monday, May 17, 2004

Mon, 17 May 2004 22:38:46 GMT

I'm a drama whore! :D And there's a whole blogring that hates me! "For a good mind fuck, give them the time of day. They spread drama like an STD. There's your run-of-the-mill drama queen, and then there's the drama whore. You know the type. Its not just a passion, its a full time job."

I end you with that...and as for now...m4rl3n3 is "deaded" go to http://www.xanga.com/willwrite4food for further rants! :D Heh...who knows we may revive our fave friend. Anyways...there are pretty links at the places where they cite the designer, but because at thhs we have to cite everything...so for once I'm not giving credit...look for a layout based on this nice div layer script. :]

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Sun, 16 May 2004 20:49:45 GMT

Joci, I mean honestly...I strangely have a very Alias-like family. I mean...all I need is my dad to rise from the dead...and find out that I had a long lost sibling. (So maybe I wasn't an only child.) Instead of boasting that I wasn't any old Greek or Roman (Pilgrims and Indians in the Thanksgiving Pagent) I can say I was the the star (the Turkey!)...Achilles!...in our rendition of Shakespeare's Troillus and Cressida...which turned into a court case figuring out if Achilles was guilty or not. Hey...look...we just have to find a prophet from the 14th century that drew a picture of me! And my dad jsut has to shoot me in the arm...and well we have an Alias saga right there. But what we are lacking is that direct source of someone who will pull through...I need my Jack Bristow baby!

Other very Alias moments...me microwaving funky looking left overs after a bad day...and my mother walking in with Chinese take out. Of course I didn't get a debrief on the evil people out to steal my eggs but eh...

New layout. :D Argh...I didn't make the actual image...or it would have been Simon not Vaughn. :P I'm very pro Simon/Julia...I'm loosing faith in the S/V shipper thing.

Argh...I think I must start my homework! :/ Erf!

I'm considering to make m4rl3n3 "deaded" and move to on WillWrite4Food.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Sun, 16 May 2004 02:41:27 GMT

It's a sad thing when the only things you like at home are your computer, your bed, your clothes, your stuff, the free storage, and the occasional home cooked meal. *sigh* And that your mother has the mentality of a catty mean bitch. You know the "it girls" in the movies...well that's how she's acting like now...mixed in with some random superstition. I honestly don't know wtf is wrong with her...maybe someone hit her in the head really hard...or she's been exposed to some sort of radioactive stuff because quite honestly she's been insane the past few days. No...not like crazy, but so out of character. Right now I think she's trying to psych me out. It's part of her whole mental gimmick to like manipulate my mind. I swear. She way too bookish...and well she gets these insane ideas I guess. Well...like a nice Alias saying...Like Mother, Like Daughter...Like Hell. I hate to connect my life to Alias...but it is alot like the Sydney/Irina relationship after Syd found out that Irina lied (well actually Jack set it up...but made Syd believe it) I have that whole feeling in my mind that she did something wrong...that she must pay...and that I am going to make sure something happen...but there's that little string...the unconditional love in a sense...the fact that she is my mother.

Haha...she jokingly threathened to "throw me out of the house..." if I didn't sleep soon...what about the window? I get to experiance the whole jumping out of the window thing...and I get the added momentum...and perhaps I'll die happy knowing that I've experianced one of the things I've always wanted to.

I don't think anyone knows I have so much cash stashed up...it is known as the "runaway fund" you know. :D

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Sat, 15 May 2004 22:31:29 GMT

I was going to make homemade chocolate cupcakes, and butter cream frosting but alas I checked the cupboard and I didn’t see the proper ingredients. I mean I could have pulled a Mary and substituted sugar for honey. (I used up all the sugar when I made the cheesecake I guess…and no one puts sugar in his or her tea or coffee at my house…goddamn honey!) Then I was like hmph…have no clue where the baking powder went…I was going to do a Martha Stewart recipe but it called for a half a cup of sour cream too. So I said screw it…went for a long walk…I was looking for Razzles. Ya know they candy they had in 1330. Went to party city…they had a pretty bad array for candy. I thought there would be more…sadly no Razzles. Bought a box of cake mix (triple chocolate) and a disposable muffin trays and cupcake liners at Shop and Stop…I won’t even bother looking for our baking supplies cause they are stashed away in some cupboard. The last time my mother baked was prolly in elementary school for like my birthday or something. I know we had real cupcake pans…but I didn’t feel like looking. And plus…I don’t have to clean anything up afterwards. :D Apparently someone finished up all the butter on their bagels…*cough* (I’m a cream cheese goer!) so there isn’t a sufficient amount for a big batch of frosting…so there’s no point…grr…cupcakes with no frosting…ARGH…this is mucho bad.

Once I ran to you. (I ran)
Now I run from you.
This tainted love you've given
I gave you all a boy could give you.
Take my tears and that’s not nearly all.
Tainted love. (ohohohoh)
Tainted love.

(Ellen was singing that the other day! It's # 11 on the 1330 soundtrack) How was 1330 w/ tiff, mel? No Jen whooping ass though. :(

My mother is still pissing me off! Can I disown her? I mean like seriously...

Today while looking at camps online...I found like the greatest thing the whole world. "EduKick" OMFG...I so want to go to the one in France or Eastbourne...the one in Italy looks well too...or Madrid. Basically...it's soccer camp and touring the particular country, and learning the language all in one summer. :D Argh...if only I weren't doing so many things already this summer...it's a month long. :/ Not to mention nearly 5k, but it's a whole month...away from home, hot european fellows, soccer, being really immersed in a language, sightseeing, parties, discos, and either staying in some mediocre hotel or someone's house (for the Eastbourne 1) for a month. Swwweeeeeet. Ahhh...I want to go...if I weren't already spending like 3 weeks with my relatives in Singapore. (But like that's pretty fucking good too...well actually not...no soccer...no hot guys...no real parties (perhaps a few yucky dinner parties)...but...I get a pretty damn good time, I do absolutely nothing and people don't yell at me, I get everything I want, foooood, hiking at the Natural Reverse, and the dinero I get after the trip. :D Sweeeeeeet!

[edit] I made the cupcakes...well erf...I made 23...and now there are like 10 left. o_0 Haha...I didn't eat all of them...yet another junk food binge session...never had one in such a long time. YUMMY! My mother is ranting about how I killed her diet plan. (That's prolly the only parallel that she doens't have with Moy...she doesn't look a thing like her...she's just about my height...and no way is she that fat) Dude...look I didn't bake the cupcakes for yooou...I baked them for me. Next time I'll just do it the Meriam way and just eat frosting from a can. That will totally gross her out. :D So like...yea...I bet you that they will be gone by tonight.

Hahaha...Joci that is a very good point. Except...well I don't think she can. I don't think she's capable of it. I know she isn't. This is unless I burn down the school with Meriam one day...then that may make her decide...now's the perfect time! :D

Friday, May 14, 2004

Fri, 14 May 2004 22:49:31 GMT

For about an hour my mother redeemed herself...heh...well she's back to square. I definately not as pissed off as yesterday...but like whatever. Screw the late mother's day present...I went out and bought stuff for meeee with that cash. *hmph*

Ya know someone just shoot me...either that or kill my mother's vocal cords. Her comments, though not rude, are plain annoying...I don't need your pissed off tone and I don't need you telling me what to do. If you want it done do it yourself and don't tell me to turn down my music...I could make a selection far worse. Heh. Dude...she's just troubled...o_0 she just called me by my pet name like 5 seconds ago. ROTFL...perhaps the Moy chronicle is underway...great I get stuck with two Moys...one at thhs...and an imitation tofu flavored one at home. :/

Yes...someone has to go shopping with me downtown. (Erf...that nulls out alot of people...cause you're (a) afraid of getting terribly lost again (b) downtown isn't good enough for you. *cough* *cough* Heh...we need to go to the CGBG store...YRB...and just like around the east village and chinatown after for hecks. (Mel? You do live around there...we need to do something together sometime!) Mmm...I want HP stuff too...erf...I don't feel like going to the WB store. Donde? Speaking of Spanish I like completely fucked up today's test...accent marks...I HATE ACCENT MARKS! :(

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Thu, 13 May 2004 23:07:01 GMT

Fuck you all...

You know, sometimes I really hate the people I have to live with. I mean for the past couple of years I’ve just been dealing with it. I’ve never really complained or anything. I’m just plain lazy. I’m fucking tired, sore, and probably just had a bad day as you did. Just because I don’t want to do something or if I just want to put it off…and that you happened to have to do a shitload at work today cause of some big architectural project closing or whatever the fuck you were talking about doesn’t mean you have to take it out on me, or my faults for the matter. Leave me the fuck alone, that’s all I ever wanted. I just want a roof over my head, ac, a computer, the internet, and cash. And honestly you can get the fuck away from me because I really don’t give a shit, I mean right now I rather have parents with lots of dinero that just ignore me...so long as I am provided for.

I mean don’t get me wrong or anything, I do enjoy having a mother on the occasion. How are you supposed to respond to a typical argument you have. But this time, for a change you decide there’s no point in arguing. I’m not raising my blood pressure over a futile matter, you can go right ahead. And what do you do…probably to get my attention because you presume I’ve prolly turned up my headphones, you tell me “Fuck you!” at the end of your condescending speech. That’s something Moy would do. o_0 What am I suppose to say? Well it was instinctual…I wasn’t the bad example. Please mind my French, “Bite me, bitch.” I said it with passion, with pride, and I don’t take it back. I mean, everyday we exchange derogatory four letter words, but it never hits you how appalling, and somehow strangely painful they maybe. Cause I know I just turn around and say “Bite me, bitch!” all the time – often times out of playfulness and sometimes out of frustration.

Honestly, this is fuel for good creative writing, and well it’s a perfect though that I can keep in my mind if I need to *sob* for theatrical purposes. Yes mother, you’ve made an impact, a dent to my mindset and soul – but you made me only a better person, for sadly society rewards the corrupted, and you’ve only helped in the process. Three more years…and I’m getting as fucking far away from Woodside as I can. The only problem is my love of NYC, much like Brutus’ love of Rome.

I think I shall run away, go for a joy ride…maybe cut next week. Almost $3,500 to my name…the last time I counted. Maybe I should get out, and do something, be free. Because there’s surely a purpose that I’ve been compiling up all my birthday, Christmas, and Chinese New Year money. Is this what I am destined for?

This isn’t even .01% of what is going through my head at the minute. A good 60% of it is totally narcissistic, but never the less…there’s still quite a bit of the though process left. All I know is I need to make a statement. I’m not sure if I want to invest my life savings into it. But you fight fire with fire, and I know she cares far to much, that if I just staged something jeopardizing my well-being.   It will send her down into a shellshock of terror. Or maybe she’ll finally give up. But until then I’ll toil with the possibilities.

For the record I am thankful, for you all, for what everyone has done to make me who I am today. My friends, my family, right down to my enemies. You've all fueled my strength, my personality, my insanity. I love you all for that. Thank You.

ROTFL...

96.3...97.6...98.8...Final Average...97.7. *dies hysterically laughing* I'll never see that again. The only good part about it is that I got old Earth Science, Math A, and Spanish grades averaged into it all. The sweet part...Math and Science boosted my average on my transcript big time. Ehhh...too bad I didn't have Ms. Martinez senior year of JHS...

Remember! Sukenik like screwed up the health comments...I have a 100 in that subject...but my comment is "Approching standards in calculator skills." *sigh*

Piece of crap...my regents grades aren't anywhere. Fuck it...

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Wed, 12 May 2004 23:20:53 GMT

I know I shouldn’t complain as my report card still fares pretty well. But it’s just so horrible that I keep relapsing – just getting far worse. In all honesty…I blame it all on Moy, and my lack of time. Moy – she’s just silly and unfair – and to an extent she does not get to the point of things. So like whatever…I need art again. I want Mr. Morales back! That’s totally sad but I doooo! Me gusta la clase de arte mas! Basically my grades dropped at least a point (in most cases far more) and well I over estimated some grades…that I am still confused about how I got. I’ve gone down a whole 2 points…which is basically like 15-20 points in total from miscellaneous subjects in comparison to what they previously were. Erf. I need to do better. My gym grade once again sucks ass…85. Hahaha…I want Rio and my 91 back. It just looks stupid when you get 80’s in gym. But then again thhs gym is different. In essense…I need to study more, practice the goddamn flute more, and help devise a real life Julius Caesar plot…and perhaps Moy can be Caesar, because she is seriously pissing me off. So it ends up to be a 92...w/ gym...and a 93 w/o. Eh...my mother isn't pissed, quite honestly she's worried about my well being and not getting enough sleep and all. What I unintentionally do...I always talk to myself when I am doing homework...it keeps me motivated or awake...so I sing or talk to myself...and she thinks it's unhealthy. I mean she reminds me occasionally...but she got all goddamn serious today - worried for me serious. So say a half an hour later I slipped in my report card. I just got a little very short lecture about how declining grades is a bad thing. I started off at thhs pretty damn well...96...95.57...92/93? Erf...like whatever. (she isn't concerned cause she knows I suck at the flute, that moy is wack, and gym is impossible) It's mainly because of a lack of study time from soccer...my cruddy music abilities...and moy...oye! Though the only thing she picked at was my 93 in Global. Hehe...I was picking at that too...I honestly think she calculated my grade wrong...o_0

Today’s Random Perverted Question: What do prostitutes do when they are PMS-ing? *rollseyes* The sad part is that someone actually asked this…

Still need to finish my Global coallateral...a bit more info...conclusion...massive condensing and proof reading...and I'll be done! :D

Summer is so close by...dude...I need to figure out wtf I'm doing this summer. I got so into the idea of taking theatre and dance classes in the summer...a pick up from the past. But like all of a sudden, the relatives are asking me to go back and visit them in S'pore..and like I want too...but it's just I won't have anyone to hang with and my mother isn't comming. (Fun on the plane with the flight attendants again...score! Travelling alone is so fun!) I miss Aunt Chrysann mucho...and she just jokes about forgetting me cause of her epilepsy. But in all honesty I worry for her. Like I do my mother for other conditions. It worries me that her epilepsy and thyriod irregularities will godforbid get worse. But everything is different now. I'm not 6 anymore. I'm not a little happy giggly inquisitive, awww...she says the darnest thing anymore. And quite honestly...they are all far too interested in my life...and to an extent I am a very private person. Only if you compile every aspect of me...can you reach a full assessment. It kills me that everyone takes me as a totally different person. It's just goddamn frustrating. Honestly...I just want to go back...visit Aunt Chrysann and Susan, my grandma, help out with tha-eee's healing proccess. But what bothers me is that recently two people passed away that I didn't get to know fully. It really bothers me, cause they were always so nice...and I didn't knwo them that well. :( I want to stay the hell away from Malaysia, Tommy and his goddamn mother...my stinking aunt. They are fuckign rich...but they are so goddamn cheap...and honestly I don't need to spread any grief on Uncle Fatso's American Express Card...cause it's not like you get me anything good anyways. You're just totally fake. That's one of the reasons I don't want to go...certian people piss me off!

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Tue, 11 May 2004 23:11:26 GMT

So much to do, so much to see. Argh...two pages...I need four...be damned Global collateral. Be damned bio lab...and whatever the hell I had...I don't want to do it. Moy has this idea that she is going to teach us something...the sad part is I learned more from the sub.

Due to popular demand at a forum on AA, my nails are now hot pink. :D

Manders is back! Have fun in new york? Didn't get to see ya...prolly never will! Love you anyways Manders.

Report Cards tomorrow...argh...I'll get some long speech about how I fucked up this term. Erf...my mother will prolly blame it on soccer and my lack of sleep...and me being lazy...and so on. I wish I went to a normal high school. Right now I like the whole concept of cruel people...because the world is really that way. And what better memories can you have then crushing someone who things they are really big? Hrm...you really don't get that mant opportunities at thhs...you just get annoyed and certain individuals...and well it goes...but not too far.

Haha...I'm not Korean...I'm "Chinese" but it's complicated. Heh...as many of you found out today when desperately looking for someone to interview for your Global collaterals. *sigh*

Ciao Bella! I'm off to do homework. Grrr...I found the perfect present to get someone for their birthday...a very cute shirt...now they better have it at UO...cause I don't have a credit card to get it online...to celebrate her inner band geekness! :] Geekified koooolneeess!

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Sun, 09 May 2004 20:25:30 GMT

Fuck it's 5 already...I need to start all my homework and my global colalteral...all by tonight. :/ Erf. But I had a great time today. By myself. I just went out for the longest walk/train ride ever and jsut bought random things that made me happy. I'm postpoing Mother's Day until next Sunday (I never actually by anything for my mother...cause she's rather picky, and well taking her out for dinner somewhere she likes is so much easier!)...cause Marlene is unconventional and we should honestly celebrate when Marlene isn't stressing. Today was a great destress day.

Anywhoo...I just when to the Flushing Library to get books for my collateral. The lady started talking to me about how everyone was getting books about ceremonies and stuff...and she was like you're lucky that we still have a book about your topic. What irked me is she kept spelling everyone. Bring back Mr. Satanic Burn Rituals Man...now he's kewl! I got the 1330 CD...it put me in such a uber spaztic mood...like maverloso! :D *sigh* So it's Marlene hopping around with her uber kewl bag. The really kewl one her aunt got her during some trip...was it Thailand or Bali...so little thrid world country like that that has strange colorful things. So I was just and bouncing...and like dance walking like the spaz I am. Ahh...I was so chirpy and happy. This is my happy CD...when I'm feeling down. Thriller isn't on the CD. :( It was like a really pivital moment in the movie. But Love is a Battlefield by Pat Betanar is like my fave 80's song now. (I spent a good part of yesterday looking for it...and I got was a clip from Diva Las Vegas 2002...and Shakira and Mary J. Blige were singing it...that was...well interesting...lol!) So of course I was getting stares on the train and on the sidewalk...as I was walking to the Shop and Stop to pick up coldcuts, juice boxes, and such for lunch. Which reminds me that we sooo need junk food. But I like spent all my $$$ on bubble teas, a frap, $7.60 of goddamn library fines, the 1330 CD, some more food, and I forgot to grab the extra $20 on my desk...so I didn't have enough dinero. :( Grrrr...

Today was a wonderful day...tomorrow...is the Bayside game! (Tracey I play soccer...not bball or volleyball [volleyball I can do...but have you ever watch me play basketball...it's one of the few sports I struggle in. LMAO...but trust me I'm not that bad...)

Some strange lady like rang our doorbell. I was like setting the table so my mother answered the door. Awww...I would have had fun yelling at her. My mother just got all pissed and told her that she wasn't even allowed in the building for solicitating purposes. I'm convinced that we should just add a letter to the end of our last name...ya know...suck the asianess out so we don't have strange people ringing our doorbells. Since when was Sim a korean name? Erf...well my mom was okay...and all she got annoyed...but she never lashed out at the lady...like I probably would have done. Like especially if they weren't home. I think our name thing on our door shouldn't say M.& I. Sim anymore..."Bite Me", "emetib", "Go Away" or "Fuck Off" work a helluvah lot better. But like this never happens anyways. o_0 I hate people who solicite...they call you, they email you, they mail you crap...look if I wanted these services I would inquire for them. And the lady was like "I'm looking for Korean people." LMAO...*sigh* you like totally entered the wrong realm. The irony of it all...it's stereotyping all over again. I just find it comical...but she was just some confused kind of old lady...prolly how she got past the doordude. (Which worries me...if you're all nonchalant you can get past the door guy...I mean I do that to get into the other building...but like I have a purpose for being there...it's just such a bitch to be having people buzzing you in)

And for whatever reason the lady was knocking on my door...I bet ya that it was prolly for spiritual reasons. o_0 Wrong people to be ringing...cause a) we're Buddists that aren't really Buddists...*sigh* b) I'm agnostic and don't give a crap c) And isn't it ironic that people are spreading their love of God by ringing on your door. I find it strange how religion has in some cases involved into a very materialistic, commercial type, industry supported thing. Like the whole "Jesus is my homeboy" shirts. And once again if I want to immerse myself into something like that...wouldn't I seek it myself? If I truely wanted to...I think I would be motivated enough to look for someplace myself.

Okay...that was prolly uber bitchy...rather derogatory to an extent if you take it wrong, but I'd say most of you didn't even read the whole thing. More power to you. "What you don't know can't hurt you!" -Laura (in bio...discussing genetic engineering ethics and getting annoyed at the lack of reasons!) Crap...that reminds me...BIO LAB! DIE...

Friday, May 07, 2004

Fri, 07 May 2004 23:10:38 GMT

Shizzle we beat bryant! :D Oh yeah baby! Eat dust 'invicinble' zoned hs! 3-zip...the ranking people were impressed!

Mmm...dinner...I amde my own...since I got home late...and mother didn't actually cook anything and nothing was to my fancy...too lazy to pick up a slice of pizza...so I just made a triple decker grilled cheese (brie...yum!) and half a blueberry muffin. Whooo...fewd! Later...going to go eat!